41 Weeks

One week overdue...
I am frustrated.

No at Abby for not coming,
but at the doctor I met yesterday for not listening to me and talking to me about induction.
But I'll get to that later.
Hang in there, cause this is a long one!
Also, it's a bit detailed about my doctor's visit, so hopefully that doesn't bother anyone.

     I am feeling great still! This week has been the start of the uncomfortable stage for me. I've begun feeling a lot of pressure and more pain whenever I stand up or put pressure on one leg over another. It lasted for only a few days at the middle of the week, and seems to have subsided. I do feel some pressure underneath my belly when I stand up after sitting for some time. After I walk around for a few minutes it disappears. I've been basically doing nothing this week, which has been great. I had all these plans to get some last minute things done before she arrives, but in the end, finally decided to be honest with myself and admit that I wasn't going to do those things no matter how much I wanted them to get done. It has just felt so much better to sit here and do nothing all day. Usually it takes a few days of that for me to get irritated of nothingness... but not this week. I just want more! Plus, it's been really hot this week, so I think my body is exhausted before I even have a chance to motivate myself to do anything.

What the Doctor had to say:
     This was my first appt. that I left feeling none-too-pleased with what transpired. Plainly put... I was upset. It all started out fine. My doctor was running behind on her appt.s, and I had to pee, so I asked if I could be let back to use the restroom while I was waiting. After I used the restroom, the nurse said she'd quickly take my vitals, one less thing to worry about once I got called back. While getting my blood pressure taken, the nurses assistant realized I was overdue and called for a non-stress test knowing the doctor would want one. I went and got G, and she took us to a special room with several little areas all blocked off by curtains. They hooked me up to a monitor for about 20 minutes to listen to Abby's heart rate and see if I was having any contractions. Afterwards, the very nice gal did an ultrasound of the four corners of my belly. She didn't tell me any of the findings from either the non-stress test or the ultrasound, so I'm guessing everything was fine and normal.
     Then the doctor came in to do my exam. It all happened so quickly. She did the exam... except... it seemed to last for much longer than any of the previous exams I had had by my nurse or the other doctor I met with last week. Right when I just couldn't take the pain any longer and began scooting away from her she stopped and began talking to me. I barely heard her tell me I was about one cm dilated b/c all that stood out to me was when she said that she had stripped my membranes. Stripping of the Membranes is when the doctor separates the bag of waters from the outside of the uterus near the cervix. The hope is that the hormones released, when the bag of waters is separated from the uterus, will soften the cervix and prepare the uterus to contract. It MAY start contractions and help the cervix open. The key word here is: MAY! She then proceeded to explain that they would have me come in on Monday for another non-stress test and if nothing had happened by then, they would schedule the induction for the next day, Tuesday. She told me that my cervix was favorable and that I probably wouldn't make it that long. One question doc, If my cervix is so favorable, then what are you doing stripping my membranes?
     After her little speech, she looked at me for recognition of what she just spouted out to me, and I could do nothing but just stare at her. I wanted to, and had planned on, explain to her that we would not be coming in for an induction, but I was in such shock and disbelief at what she had just done that I couldn't even open my mouth. When she told me she had stripped my membranes I said, "What?!" and I think she kinda got the hint that I was not pleased, but she just kept right on talking. I think she assumed that I was in pain afterwards and that was why I was not responding, but it was really b/c I was so hurt that she would disrespect me so much as to not tell me before hand that she was going to do that so that I could tell her I didn't want her to, or even ask me if I wanted her to do that at all. I think they are so used to people not even knowing what that is or caring at all that they don't usually speak of it. I'm surprised she even told me that she did it; I'm sure they don't even tell most patients about it, and if they do, their patients don't even understand what it is, and they can quickly explain that they're just helping it along. This doctor didn't know she was dealing with a pregnant woman who had educated herself about all this, and did NOT want to be stripped of her membranes! gah!
     Needless to say, the second she left the curtained room, tears began streaming down my face. I felt so defeated; as if everything I had studied and worked so hard to learn had just been shoved down the drain by her quick and thoughtless action. It took some pep-talking from the husband for me to calm down and realize that all was not lost. This in no way affects Abby in a negative way b/c the studies done show that this procedure MIGHT lead to the start of contractions, but doesn't positively start labor. I am now trying to be very positive about the whole situation. Just b/c she decided to do this without asking me, does not mean that I will allow them to induce me. I am in control. I do not have to show up to the induction, much less my appt on Monday for another non-stress test. Police will not come knocking on my door if I decide to not show up. Heck, they will probably not even notice. I'm still undecided if I will go to my appt on Monday. If I do, I will make it very clear that they can schedule an appt for induction for Tuesday all they want, but I will not be showing up. I am in control of my body and my pregnancy! Can you tell that I continue telling myself this to help give me confidence!?  As a doctor, you cannot tell me, which she did, that it is totally fine going to 42 weeks, and then tell me that after 10 days they induce b/c of danger to the baby. Tuesday is NOT 42 weeks! At least let me go the full 42 weeks before we start talking induction!
     Ultimately, I would prefer that the membranes be stripped if that's one more thing that keeps me from being induced; that's fine. What I am not okay with, is that she did not say anything to me, and by doing it without saying anything she took control away from me into her own hands. THAT is what bothers me most! This is MY pregnancy, my body, my baby; not hers!
   
ME:
     I'm feeling great still. After yesterday's awful, discouraging, and embarrassing appt, G suggested we just go home. But I didn't see the point, b/c I would just go home and dwell on what just happened and be sad. Instead I wanted to go see a movie like we had originally planned to get my mind off things. During the movie I was uncomfortable and worried about bleeding through my shorts and felt every cramp. I finally went to the bathroom and saw that the bleeding from her little unmentioned procedure was finished and I had not, in fact, bled through my shorts. I immediately felt a surge of energy and relief! I no longer felt any more cramps either, and was able to enjoy the rest of the movie; X-Men was great by the way! I definitely think that my mind was allowing me to be more susceptible to the pain b/c I was feeling defeated and weak emotionally. I have heard that after this procedure you can be in pain for several hours to several days. Thankfully I have not been in any pain from it so far. But I could experience mild cramping or contractions for several days.
     My ankles are still swollen tree stumps!
     Heartburn still sucks!
     Being congested still sucks!
     Getting up in the middle of the night to pee stinks too! Thankfully it's only once. But one night this week I got up 3 times to pee. That's a record!

Progress: