Tuesday morning, 8am, my mothers took me for another slow but long walk around the block. The walking by this point was becoming a bit more difficult as my back was starting to hurt some, and the menstrual cramps were still slight but present. When we got back to the house I had a piece of toast and 2 hard boiled eggs and we headed off to the hospital.
Tuesday morning, 10am, we arrive at the hospital and I tell them that my BOG broke and I think I'm going to have a baby today! They escort me to a room, and I slightly freak out. I mean, they are just casually taking me to any random room, and all I can think about is how THIS is the room that I will have my baby in, and my life will forever change... all in this one room.
We get into the room and G and my mom begin unpacking our bag and setting our things up. The nurse brings in the awful gown and tells me to get undressed and put it on. I tell her that I was hoping I could just wear the bathing suit cover up I was currently wearing. She told me it would get dirty, and I told her that I knew that and I got it specifically for this. Surprisingly enough, she didn't argue with me, she just said, "okay." Phew, Potential Fight #1: Avoided!
I was worried, however, b/c I was still leaking and didn't want to NOT wear any underwear, but she told me I wouldn't be able to and that there was a piddle pad on the hospital bed for just that reason. EW! I was definitely NOT pleased by this piddle pad situation. It was awful! I wanted it changed constantly.
Once I got settled in, my nurse Melissa came in and introduced herself and set me up on the monitors to see if I was having any contractions; she also gave me a little button to push whenever I felt little Abby move. Turns out my doctor was the one on call that day and when he came to see me they decided they would do a test to see if my BOG had, in fact, broken. While this test was being done, it would take an hour, I continued to be monitored, and we found that I was in fact having contractions. So those cramps that I was having earlier were in fact contractions, proving that you can have contractions and NOT know that you're having contractions.
During this time, we played a short game of Farkle, and Melissa would occasionally come in and look at the findings from the monitors. She told me that they were slightly worried because they were seeing decreases in Abby's heart rate. We didnt' think too much of it at that time, however. Then the doctor came back and said that the results were that my BOG did not actually break. WHAT?! Then what on earth am I leaking?! I never actually got a specific answer as to what it was. They said that pregnant women tend to pee themselves and that's probably what happened to me. Um... I went and stuck my head in that spot on the bed the morning before, and it did NOT smell like pee. I KNOW what pee smells like. It was NOT pee. Plus, when I got up to go to the bathroom, and I was finished peeing, I was still leaking... that's NOT pee. Whatever, they didn't seem to care much. Someone mentioned something about how it might be meconium. But, if my BOG hadn't broken, then why would I be leaking meconium. It didn't make any sense to me, and no one ever ended up giving me a hard answer as to what it was, so whatever. We move on.
We move on to the fact that Abby's heart rate is continuing to have slight decelerations, and that is beginning to seriously worry my doctor. I asked if it was because of my contractions, but he said that the decelerations were not coinciding with my contractions, so it's not because of that (If they were coinciding with my contractions, it's completely normal for baby's heart rate to go down slightly, and then it goes back up).
My doctor knew my feelings about any medical intervention, and knew that I wanted to go natural. When we found out that my water did not actually break, we talked about going home and waiting it out a little longer and trying to get labor going naturally. I contacted my birth instructor again for advice, and she was pleased that I had listened to my body b/c my BOG hadn't actually broken. And that the next step was up to me, but she did mention going home and trying to get things going naturally as an option. G and my mom began to pack everything up in preparation for leaving. If my BOG hadn't broken, then there was no reason for me to be sitting in the hospital. My contractions were starting, so I would probably be back late that evening or the next day and having Abby anyways, why wait around the hospital that whole time and have them certainly suggest intervention b/c I had been there for so long.
We waited for the doctor to come back in to let him know our decision. We asked him what time he would like us to come back later that evening so we could be monitored again (to ease their minds). He said that he could not give us a time b/c he did not advise us going home and thought it was a very bad idea since Abby's heart rate was still decelerating. Plus, even if it wasn't, today was my 10th day and they would want to induce labor anyway. I didn't care about that, I wasn't going to let them do that, especially since my contractions had clearly already started, it was just a matter of time before I would be back in there having Abby. But what did concern me was the decelerations in her heart rate. The doctor said that it could be that she's just tugging on the umbilical cord, or pressing against it every so often and that's causing it, or maybe the cord is wrapped around her head. But they said they couldn't find out exactly which it was, which made me opt for going home.
Before the doctor came in I was super set to walk right out of that hospital and go back to G's parents and wait it out and let nature takes its course. Melissa told me I would have to sign a form saying that I was leaving against the doctor's wishes, and that if anything happened, that basically, it was all on me. But as I was talking to the doctor, one thing continued to tug at me. That little button they handed to me and asked me to press every time I felt Abby move... I had pressed it maybe 3 times in the 6 hours I had been there so far. This was beginning to really worry me. I knew that I would not be able to live with myself if we had gone home and something happened to Abby. I would be to blame for my stupid decision to go home instead of staying at the hospital. Only I knew how I was feeling and what was going on in my body. And I was getting this feeling that I needed to stay.
Thankfully the doctor, knowing how set I was on a natural birth, compromised with me. He said he would prefer to have me stay and allow me to be off the monitors for short periods of time to walk around the halls to try to get things going, as long as I would not leave. This also made me realize that he was very serious about me not leaving. So, I changed my mind and decided to stay. G walked me around the hallway a few times and we came back and hooked the monitors up to check her heart rate. Being up and able to walk around made things much better. Firstly, I put underwear back on no matter what they said b/c I was NOT going to leave a leaky trail throughout the hospital. Second, when a contraction came, I was able to practice some of the standing up positions I learned in my class, and it made dealing with the contractions much more manageable. After a few rounds of this, however, my back began to hurt and I decided to take a break and lay down for a while before starting it up again.
We turned the lights off and I turned on my left side (what is supposed to be best for baby) and proceeded to take a nap. All the sudden a new nurse came in and began to put an oxygen mask on me, waking me up. She said that Abby's heart rate was going down again and this should help. It got me slightly worried, but she seemed calm so I decided not to freak out too much. That oxygen mask was super irritating. It didn't rest flat against my nose so the oxygen would come up the top and dry my eyes out.
Tuesday evening, 6pm, my other doctor came in to talk to me. This is the same doctor from my appointment a few weeks prior that I had a great experience with. I was super excited to see him. He also knew how important it was to me to have a natural birth and both he and my doctor seemed to be trying very hard the whole day to make that happen for me, which I really respected. My new nurse, Jackie came in with him as well. Jackie is my friend from high school, actually Jr. High as well. I borrowed her school cheer uniform for Halloween in Jr. High. Good memories. Anywho, Jackie wasn't actually working that day, but was called in b/c they were so busy, so Melissa let Jackie be my nurse, or however it worked out. I was very grateful to have Jackie with me through this process.
Dr. Pandya said I needed to make a decision about what I wanted to do very quickly; whether I was going to go home, or get things started with pitocin. He was suggesting Pitocin b/c of Abby's heart rate. They felt that it was time to get her out. I asked if it would be possible to stop the pitocin once contractions became stronger and formed a good pattern, to which he said yes. But, if the pitocin didn't work, they would try another medicine to get my contractions going. Because I still was not feeling Abby move, I decided that I would just have to deal with it, and hope for the best. I agreed to the pitocin.
A nurse came in to hook me up to an IV and get me started on the bag of saline solution before they could start me on the pitocin. As the nurse was trying to find my vein and stick me with the ridiculously huge needle, I turned my head so I wouldn't have to look and all the sudden saw several nurses from the nurses station in my room. I jokingly asked what was wrong since they were all in the room, and one responded that Abby's heart rate had just fallen again, obviously quite dramatically this time, if it caused 3 nurses to come in. While they are all scrambling around me and pressing buttons, and doing what not, the nurse hooking up my IV is having a difficult time. More nurses come in, Melissa and Jackie as well, and by now there are over 10 people in the room, including my husband, mom, and FIL. Melissa proceeds to go help the nurse putting my IV in, and I hear her say, "this vein is not working," and she starts to take it out.... WHAT?! I was already crying from her shoving it inside my arm and now she was taking it out and starting over somewhere else. Thankfully Melissa took over and quickly got me hooked up. She picked the vein right at the wrist, at the base of the thumb... how awfully painful people! Let me tell you! That is NOT a fun spot.
I'm also crying b/c there are now many people in my room and I am hurting from the IV, and I am starting to really freak out. After a few minutes they all leave, and I am sitting there in shambles.
Then, Dr. Pandya comes in with Jackie again. He sits down on his little swivel stool and looks at me. And at that moment I knew. I knew what he was about to tell me. He said, "Meghan, we need to do a c-section." And I broke down.
We get into the room and G and my mom begin unpacking our bag and setting our things up. The nurse brings in the awful gown and tells me to get undressed and put it on. I tell her that I was hoping I could just wear the bathing suit cover up I was currently wearing. She told me it would get dirty, and I told her that I knew that and I got it specifically for this. Surprisingly enough, she didn't argue with me, she just said, "okay." Phew, Potential Fight #1: Avoided!
I was worried, however, b/c I was still leaking and didn't want to NOT wear any underwear, but she told me I wouldn't be able to and that there was a piddle pad on the hospital bed for just that reason. EW! I was definitely NOT pleased by this piddle pad situation. It was awful! I wanted it changed constantly.
Once I got settled in, my nurse Melissa came in and introduced herself and set me up on the monitors to see if I was having any contractions; she also gave me a little button to push whenever I felt little Abby move. Turns out my doctor was the one on call that day and when he came to see me they decided they would do a test to see if my BOG had, in fact, broken. While this test was being done, it would take an hour, I continued to be monitored, and we found that I was in fact having contractions. So those cramps that I was having earlier were in fact contractions, proving that you can have contractions and NOT know that you're having contractions.
During this time, we played a short game of Farkle, and Melissa would occasionally come in and look at the findings from the monitors. She told me that they were slightly worried because they were seeing decreases in Abby's heart rate. We didnt' think too much of it at that time, however. Then the doctor came back and said that the results were that my BOG did not actually break. WHAT?! Then what on earth am I leaking?! I never actually got a specific answer as to what it was. They said that pregnant women tend to pee themselves and that's probably what happened to me. Um... I went and stuck my head in that spot on the bed the morning before, and it did NOT smell like pee. I KNOW what pee smells like. It was NOT pee. Plus, when I got up to go to the bathroom, and I was finished peeing, I was still leaking... that's NOT pee. Whatever, they didn't seem to care much. Someone mentioned something about how it might be meconium. But, if my BOG hadn't broken, then why would I be leaking meconium. It didn't make any sense to me, and no one ever ended up giving me a hard answer as to what it was, so whatever. We move on.
We move on to the fact that Abby's heart rate is continuing to have slight decelerations, and that is beginning to seriously worry my doctor. I asked if it was because of my contractions, but he said that the decelerations were not coinciding with my contractions, so it's not because of that (If they were coinciding with my contractions, it's completely normal for baby's heart rate to go down slightly, and then it goes back up).
My doctor knew my feelings about any medical intervention, and knew that I wanted to go natural. When we found out that my water did not actually break, we talked about going home and waiting it out a little longer and trying to get labor going naturally. I contacted my birth instructor again for advice, and she was pleased that I had listened to my body b/c my BOG hadn't actually broken. And that the next step was up to me, but she did mention going home and trying to get things going naturally as an option. G and my mom began to pack everything up in preparation for leaving. If my BOG hadn't broken, then there was no reason for me to be sitting in the hospital. My contractions were starting, so I would probably be back late that evening or the next day and having Abby anyways, why wait around the hospital that whole time and have them certainly suggest intervention b/c I had been there for so long.
We waited for the doctor to come back in to let him know our decision. We asked him what time he would like us to come back later that evening so we could be monitored again (to ease their minds). He said that he could not give us a time b/c he did not advise us going home and thought it was a very bad idea since Abby's heart rate was still decelerating. Plus, even if it wasn't, today was my 10th day and they would want to induce labor anyway. I didn't care about that, I wasn't going to let them do that, especially since my contractions had clearly already started, it was just a matter of time before I would be back in there having Abby. But what did concern me was the decelerations in her heart rate. The doctor said that it could be that she's just tugging on the umbilical cord, or pressing against it every so often and that's causing it, or maybe the cord is wrapped around her head. But they said they couldn't find out exactly which it was, which made me opt for going home.
Before the doctor came in I was super set to walk right out of that hospital and go back to G's parents and wait it out and let nature takes its course. Melissa told me I would have to sign a form saying that I was leaving against the doctor's wishes, and that if anything happened, that basically, it was all on me. But as I was talking to the doctor, one thing continued to tug at me. That little button they handed to me and asked me to press every time I felt Abby move... I had pressed it maybe 3 times in the 6 hours I had been there so far. This was beginning to really worry me. I knew that I would not be able to live with myself if we had gone home and something happened to Abby. I would be to blame for my stupid decision to go home instead of staying at the hospital. Only I knew how I was feeling and what was going on in my body. And I was getting this feeling that I needed to stay.
Thankfully the doctor, knowing how set I was on a natural birth, compromised with me. He said he would prefer to have me stay and allow me to be off the monitors for short periods of time to walk around the halls to try to get things going, as long as I would not leave. This also made me realize that he was very serious about me not leaving. So, I changed my mind and decided to stay. G walked me around the hallway a few times and we came back and hooked the monitors up to check her heart rate. Being up and able to walk around made things much better. Firstly, I put underwear back on no matter what they said b/c I was NOT going to leave a leaky trail throughout the hospital. Second, when a contraction came, I was able to practice some of the standing up positions I learned in my class, and it made dealing with the contractions much more manageable. After a few rounds of this, however, my back began to hurt and I decided to take a break and lay down for a while before starting it up again.
We turned the lights off and I turned on my left side (what is supposed to be best for baby) and proceeded to take a nap. All the sudden a new nurse came in and began to put an oxygen mask on me, waking me up. She said that Abby's heart rate was going down again and this should help. It got me slightly worried, but she seemed calm so I decided not to freak out too much. That oxygen mask was super irritating. It didn't rest flat against my nose so the oxygen would come up the top and dry my eyes out.
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| On the dreaded Oxygen |
Tuesday evening, 6pm, my other doctor came in to talk to me. This is the same doctor from my appointment a few weeks prior that I had a great experience with. I was super excited to see him. He also knew how important it was to me to have a natural birth and both he and my doctor seemed to be trying very hard the whole day to make that happen for me, which I really respected. My new nurse, Jackie came in with him as well. Jackie is my friend from high school, actually Jr. High as well. I borrowed her school cheer uniform for Halloween in Jr. High. Good memories. Anywho, Jackie wasn't actually working that day, but was called in b/c they were so busy, so Melissa let Jackie be my nurse, or however it worked out. I was very grateful to have Jackie with me through this process.
Dr. Pandya said I needed to make a decision about what I wanted to do very quickly; whether I was going to go home, or get things started with pitocin. He was suggesting Pitocin b/c of Abby's heart rate. They felt that it was time to get her out. I asked if it would be possible to stop the pitocin once contractions became stronger and formed a good pattern, to which he said yes. But, if the pitocin didn't work, they would try another medicine to get my contractions going. Because I still was not feeling Abby move, I decided that I would just have to deal with it, and hope for the best. I agreed to the pitocin.
A nurse came in to hook me up to an IV and get me started on the bag of saline solution before they could start me on the pitocin. As the nurse was trying to find my vein and stick me with the ridiculously huge needle, I turned my head so I wouldn't have to look and all the sudden saw several nurses from the nurses station in my room. I jokingly asked what was wrong since they were all in the room, and one responded that Abby's heart rate had just fallen again, obviously quite dramatically this time, if it caused 3 nurses to come in. While they are all scrambling around me and pressing buttons, and doing what not, the nurse hooking up my IV is having a difficult time. More nurses come in, Melissa and Jackie as well, and by now there are over 10 people in the room, including my husband, mom, and FIL. Melissa proceeds to go help the nurse putting my IV in, and I hear her say, "this vein is not working," and she starts to take it out.... WHAT?! I was already crying from her shoving it inside my arm and now she was taking it out and starting over somewhere else. Thankfully Melissa took over and quickly got me hooked up. She picked the vein right at the wrist, at the base of the thumb... how awfully painful people! Let me tell you! That is NOT a fun spot.
I'm also crying b/c there are now many people in my room and I am hurting from the IV, and I am starting to really freak out. After a few minutes they all leave, and I am sitting there in shambles.
Then, Dr. Pandya comes in with Jackie again. He sits down on his little swivel stool and looks at me. And at that moment I knew. I knew what he was about to tell me. He said, "Meghan, we need to do a c-section." And I broke down.
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| Getting my Saline Solution hooked up |
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Ooh, I am enjoying the minute by minute descriptions. Keep it coming!
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