My husband was there beside me holding my hand as we heard this news. I just looked at him and cried. I felt upset. Upset that we had taken classes that we would not be able to use after all. Upset that we had done all this preparation for a natural birth for nothing, b/c I never had a chance. Upset that we weren't even sure what was going on, was the cord around Abby's neck, or was she just grabbing it when she moved. Upset that I was going to have to go through pitocin and then still get through birth without an epidural. Upset that even that option was taken from me, and I would be bypassing all of that straight to a c-section.
But, there was no time to dwell on any of that. Nurses came in to prep me right away. I had already been pumped full of a bag of saline solution. The nurses put a hair net on me, and shaved me (which was so not pleasant). Then I was transferred to a wheel chair and the anesthesiologist got ready to wheel me to the operating room. As he was wheeling me out, my MIL arrived at the door and I was able to get a much needed hug from her. It was a sad moment as I could tell she was trying not to cry for me, and I had just finished my crying, but seeing her made me start all over again. Thankfully the anesthesiologist cracked some joke and made me feel better. Now I've heard that most people do not enjoy the doctors making jokes bedside; they find it inappropriate. However, it was exactly what I needed!
|Getting admitted to the hospital finally|
|All ready for surgery|
|Getting ready to be wheeled to the operation room|
They quickly got me onto my back, spread my arms out, and started hooking me up to all these little wires, etc. Then the doctors came in (both Dr. Cohen and Dr. Pandya were going to perform the surgery for me!). And Dr. Cohen began singing... that's right.... I forgot to mention, they had Dr. Cohen's iPod hooked up and playing through the sound system in the room so the mood in the room right when I got in there was so light and fun. I enjoyed some Beach Boys, Queen (I think), Disney, Classic Rock, and I can't even remember everything else, but it was all great music, and therefore Dr. Cohen would occasionally sing along; again, this didn't bother me either, I actually found it quite entertaining.
They put the little blue shield up to block me. Now this was the sorta scary part. The paper, I always envisioned, was near the chest. Nope. It's RIGHT in front of your face. So I have the oxygen mask on still, which is drying my eyes out, I need to cough desperately, but I'm having a difficult time b/c I'm on my back, and half of my body is numb and the muscles needed to cough are therefore numb, those numb muscles are also making it quite difficult to breath, and now this stupid blue paper is right in front of my face, rubbing against the oxygen mask, making me quite claustrophobic. Great!
Tuesday evening, 7pm. Finally, G was able to come in and he stood next to my head the whole 15 minutes it took to open me up. I knew they opened me up, not because I felt anything, but because I could tell when one of their hands moved across my belly. I just knew that they had to have just sliced me open. Very weird to feel it and yet not feel it at all. Anywho, those were the quickest 15 minutes of my life, I don't really remember much. Just a lot of tugging and moving around of my belly. All the sudden Dr. Cohen says, "We have a lot of meconium here guys." This freaked me out some because I know that can be a serious issue. Babies are usually taken to the NICU and have some kind of infection from swallowing their first poo. But he didn't say anything else about it and just kept on going.
Finally G stands up for some reason and then says, "I see her!" Except... I can't hear her. I start to panic immediately. I think that something happened; the dips in her heart rate earlier were really a big issue and we should have gone in for the c-section earlier because something was wrong. I started to shout as calmly as possible (through tears): "Is she alive? Is she alive?" But no one was answering me. Of course this only served to terrify me even more. Thankfully, G finally answered me and said that she was alive, and she screamed at the same time. It was the most beautiful sound in that moment (now, however, that is to be questioned!)
The doctor told me then that Abby's umbilical cord was very very short, and that it was a great thing that we had done the c-section. Her short cord is what was causing the decelerations in her heart rate earlier that day. Had we gone through with natural birth, she wouldn't have been able to make it all the way through because her cord wouldn't have reached. We most likely would have had a still birth. Praise the Lord that we chose to stay and then agreed to the c-section!
They took her to the other side of the room to begin cleaning her up, and G was able to go over to her and be with her while I was to get sewn up. Thankfully the anesthesiologist stayed right there with me the whole time, so I wasn't alone. So, I began asking him all kinds of questions, "What is that number mean? What is that splatter I just felt? What are these little wires? What is the combination of drugs that is in the Spinal that you gave me? etc etc" Before the surgery, I asked Nurse Jackie if they were going to put me out for the surgery, and she said not unless I get too anxious and freak out. Once I started asking all kinds of questions that the anesthesiologist said he's never been asked before, he jokingly said he might have to put me out for talking too much! hahahah! Of course, I'd be the one that is threatened with that type of action during major surgery!
Shortly thereafter, the nurse brought my precious daughter to me and I was able to see Abby for the first time! She was absolutely gorgeous! No lies! I've always stated that I do believe there are ugly babies, and that I've prayed that the Lord would give us a cute baby. Because while I would love my child no matter what, I would still be able to tell if my precious sweet baby was ugly! Thankfully the baby in front of me was so adorable! The nurse held her to my face for a few minutes and I got to stare at her sweet face and cry tears of joy that I finally was able to meet this little human that had been growing inside me for the past 9 months. Abby was then taken to the recovery room, and G went with her, while I finished in surgery.
The doctor, anesthesiologist, and I began chatting and cracking jokes at that point. It got me through the rest of the surgery, which lasted another 30 minutes (the whole surgery was 1 hour total). Finally, I was all sewn up and ready to be taken to recovery to be reunited with the new addition to my precious family. They wheeled me into the recovery room, and G says I was loopy from the drugs because I started telling him all about the Disney Cruise trip that my anesthesiologist was taking with his family soon. I remember this because I was NOT loopy. I felt perfectly fine... too fine I guess! ahahah! But I really did feel completely sane mentally speaking.
And then there we were, just me and my baby, and G. It was the most beautiful sight when I was wheeled into the recovery room. G was hovering over the little plastic hospital bed Abby was in, and he was just staring at her in silence. It was wonderful; I wish I could have captured that moment with a picture. I knew right then and there that she had captured his heart and our lives would never be the same.
|Nomi Sarah with Abby|
|Gdad Randy and G and baby Abby|
|Gma Carol and Abby|
|Dad with Abby|
|First Family photo... sorta|